Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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