we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
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if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
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HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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