peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
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I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
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You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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