I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
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an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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