That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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