you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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