I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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