just come out here and I will go home with you...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize