so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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