I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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