It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize