OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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