There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
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I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
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Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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