I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize