Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize