Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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