You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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