When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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