the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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