She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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