the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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