i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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