a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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