Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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