So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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