I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize