the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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