I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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