Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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