That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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