you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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