Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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