some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize