I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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