my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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