why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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