Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize