Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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