come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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