This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize