Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize