I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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