I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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