its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
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EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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