I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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