i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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