no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
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I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
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i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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