dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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