Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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