Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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